I sure miss breathing...

Being 32 weeks pregnant isn't exactly easy... add a cold to that, and it can be downright miserable. I've had this lingering congestion and cough for about a week and a half now. And there's just not much in the way of medicine that I'm allowed to take to make it go away.

The good news is that Perrin is completely unaffected by my gushing sinuses and barking cough. He's wiggling around as much as ever; his heartbeat (which I got to hear today at my prenatal appointment) is strong and steady. Glad one of us is comfortable, at least.

So now I have an aching back, a gigantic, awkward belly, a runny nose, and a cough that could wake the dead. Sooooo sexy.

That's a weird place for a stomach

I don't know if this is a normal pregnancy thing; in fact, I don't know if this is even possible... but I think my stomach has moved. Like, the actual organ has moved to a new location.

It really could just be my imagination, but I'm telling you... things feel different in there, and my stomach seems like it's about 5 or 6 inches north of where it should be. I know my insides are getting a bit crowded now that Perrin is a good 16 inches long and nearly 4 pounds. Is he perhaps kicking my organs around to make room? I really don't know. I'm not really concerned... even though it feels weird, it hasn't caused discomfort or kept me from eating. And I have to say, even if he did shove my stomach upwards, it's infinitely preferable to those moments when he plays kickball with my bladder.

How much can we cram into one month?

It's almost Christmas! Most years, the typical Christmas festivities (parties, decorating, baking, etc) are enough to keep me busy. But no, this year we're doing all of that PLUS setting up a nursery and remodeling our kitchen. Are we crazy? I'm beginning to think so.

Here's the plan: Over the next few days, Trey and I will completely unload all of our kitchen cabinets and drawers and pack everything into boxes. Then we will do demolition on the kitchen this Saturday. (Yes, we are having faith in ourselves that we can accomplish this in one day). Then, contractors will do some work for us on Monday-Wednesday of next week to take care of some plumbing and electrical issues. They will do the work flawlessly and on time with no "surprises." Then although we will be without a kitchen for over a week, we will have a holly jolly Christmas with our families, then install our new kitchen cabinets, counter top, sink and whatever else goes in a kitchen in the week between Christmas and New Year's. It will look perfect and magical and won't cost more than we're budgeting. Sound good? Yes. Sound plausible? We'll see. Just pray I don't go into labor early.

Child birthing 101

Over the weekend, Trey and I went to a child birthing class at the hospital where I'll be delivering. Aside from a rather graphic video that showed an actual c-section procedure (which I certainly could have done without), the class was pretty helpful.

All along, I've been thinking that because I'm having an epidural, I don't need to know any of those silly breathing exercises. But the nurse informed me that I won't get an epidural until I'm about 4-5 cm dilated and well into active labor... meaning I'll get to experience plenty of those painful contractions that I assumed I would get to avoid. So while I'm not jumping up and down at the news, I guess it's good that I know what to expect.

So we spent a good half hour or so learning relaxation and breathing techniques. But I kept getting confused... I never seemed to be able to remember if we were supposed to be breathing like "ha-hee" or "ha-hoo." And Trey, of course, had his own opinions of how I should be breathing, which were slightly comical but not very helpful. But I got back at him later when I decided to use his nose as my focal point. Okay, so we probably did more laughing than breathing, but that's good pain management too, right?

The downside (pregnant at Thanksgiving, part 2)

My last blog post was all about why it's so great to be pregnant at Thanksgiving. Well, now I'm writing about why it's not so great.

I went in for my monthly prenatal appointment yesterday, and the doctor informed me that I had gained 10 pounds since last month's visit. Holy cow. From July to November, I'd managed to only gain 7 pounds total. So I was actually feeling pretty smug about how well I was managing my weight gain. In fact, I was a little below where I needed to be for optimum weight gain. But that was just fine and dandy by me. And then came the holidays....

The doctor said since I'd gained so little weight earlier in my pregnancy, the ten pounds in one month was not really a big deal. But he gave me strict instructions to not allow it to happen again over Christmas. ::sigh:: I suppose the days of grazing on leftover potatoes and pie are over. I'll try to be a good girl now.

Pregnant at Thanksgiving

I'm back at work today after a long (and good) Thanksgiving weekend. We had a blast, and I've decided that it's pretty nice to be pregnant during Thanksgiving for several reasons:

1. Everyone expects me to eat a lot because I'm pregnant. I was very happy to oblige. Actually, I would have eaten a lot even if I weren't pregnant, but this gives me a better excuse.

2. Maternity pants are the perfect pig-out pants. They're designed to grow with you. It doesn't matter that it's food and not baby causing the need for expansion.

3. It's fun to celebrate Thanksgiving when you have a lot to be thankful for. I'm thankful we'll have a little half-Jayna, half-Trey baby crawling around and causing trouble in no time. And I'm thankful I have the best husband in the world to take on this gargantuan and slightly intimidating responsibility with. We may not know what we're doing as parents, but at least we get to be clueless together!

My feet are down there somewhere...

I've had some people asking for a new "belly shot," so here's a picture of me at 27 weeks. Funny story... apparently I had gotten some dust or something on the bottom of this dress. So Trey dusted it off for me right before he took the picture. He said, "You probably can't see this dust down here since it's on the dark side of the moon." Yep, he really said that. He made it up to me a little later when he painted my toenails for me. He did a pretty good job too--for a boy.

Anyway, here's the belly:

Interesting (AKA weird) names

One of the things I love about Perrin's name is that it's unique but not totally weird. Even so, I've had a lot of people comment on how strange it is. I guess because they've never known anyone with that name.

You want strange? I found plenty of real baby names that are so much more bizarre than Perrin. Here are just a few I stumbled across:

Muffi-Jo
Bophary
Beegie
Nattapong
JeeHee
Wattie
Jasweater
Mambo
Edelweiss
Calixto
Mohawk
Pooja
Suzuki
Borka

See, Perrin doesn't seem that strange now, huh?

Our crib, the world traveler

A couple weeks ago, Trey and I ordered a crib online from WalMart. One of the cool things about Wally World's online ordering is that most items can be shipped to your local WalMart for free. So we placed the order and have been anxiously awaiting the e-mail notification that will tell us we can go pick up our new crib.

Well, apparently FedEx shipped the crib from Washington to Portland, OR to Memphis to North Little Rock... and then somehow they decided not to deliver it. The reason they give on their tracking website is "recipient closed." I'm pretty sure our 24-hour WalMart super center doesn't close. Just a hunch.

So I was pretty annoyed to find out that they shipped the crib all the way back to Memphis. No wonder shipping costs are so high! Why didn't they just leave the crib here? Now they'll have to ship it all the way back again.

I checked today to see if the crib had left Memphis yet, and it had. Yay! The bad news: It's now on its way back to Portland. ::sigh::

I'm meeeeelting

I'm sitting at my desk at work and thinking, "Is it 9,000 degrees in here, or is it just me?" So I've started watching people walk by to see if anyone else comments that it feels like a sauna up here. So far, nearly everyone I've seen seems completely content in long-sleeved shirts and jackets. I even heard one coworker tell someone that she's cold. So apparently it's just me.

I'm chugging ice water and fanning myself between typing and answering the phone. I'm really tempted to go out to my car and turn on the air conditioner full-blast, but I might die of heat stroke trekking across the parking lot. So this must be what a hot flash feels like. I hate to even use that phrase... it sounds so menopausal.

Looking at the bright side, Trey and I will probably save a ton on heating bills this year.

Crazy dreams

I've read several pregnancy books or articles that said pregnant women often have very strange and vivid dreams. Well, a few nights ago, I had a dream that easily ranks in my top five weirdest dreams ever. I dreamed that Trey decided to sacrifice himself to be made into guacamole.

I'm not even sure what to say about this. I could comment that human guacamole would be really, really gross. Or I could express my appreciation to "dream-Trey" for his willingness to sacrifice himself just to give his pregnant wife a bowl of guacamole (since I assume that's why he did it). But I think I'm just going to blame this one on the pregnancy hormones.... and probably never be able to look at a bowl of guacamole the same.

Kicking up a storm

Perrin is particularly active today. That's a good thing, except that it makes me much less productive at work. I seriously have been sitting here for the last half hour or so with my hand on my tummy and a goofy expression on my face as I stare at the wall. I have ten sticky notes lined up across my desk reminding me of things I need to do or people I need to call. But who can concentrate on work when there's a mini-person bouncing around inside you?

I haven't quite gotten over the weirdness of it all. It's very cool but a bit sci-fi sometimes to know that I'm growing a baby. I feel like superwoman--look what my body can do! I took the tiniest of all of Trey's cells, and I'm growing an entire person out of it! Someone once compared it to building a house together, and all the guy has to go is pick out the carpet. And while there are some not-so-great things that accompany pregnancy, the guys also miss out on the really cool parts. Like little baby kicks throughout the day that keep you from getting any work done.

The nesting phenomenon

It seems that the nesting instinct has visited our house. But I'm not talking about me--I'm talking about Trey. A few nights ago, he got the idea to clean out our entire fridge. He threw away expired condiments, leftovers, and lunch meats. Then he took a wet rag and wiped everything down. Then he organized the remaining food (and pointed out to me exactly which shelf we will keep juice on, and which shelf we will keep leftovers on, and where the fruit goes, etc etc.) THEN he did the same thing with our two food cabinets.

I was feeling really tired and achy so I helped a little, but not much. I dragged a chair into the kitchen and mostly just sat watching in amazement at what I was seeing. This was pretty uncharacteristic behavior for Trey. Not that I'm complaining.

It's really cute that my husband is nesting. Now if only he'll go put those nesting instincts to work on his man cave.

The Moosery

A few months ago, before we found out that we're having a boy, Trey spent some free time at work practicing drawing baby moose. One of his coworkers asked him why he was doing that.

"Well, if we have a boy, we're going to decorate the nursery in baby moose," he said.

"Awww, that's so sweet! So how are you going to decorate it if you have a girl?"

Trey thought for a minute and said, "baby moose!"

Thankfully, we're having a boy, so Trey gets to go crazy with baby moose decor. We have a wood cutout of a moose that my sister is going to paint and hang on the nursery wall. We've also bought a couple of really cute moose outfits and a plushy moose toy for Perrin.

Why moose? You'll have to ask Trey that. But if you see any cute moose items for babies in the next few months, let us know!

Our first "child"

I've decided that while taking care of a dog is not quite the same as taking care of a child, it's still good preparation for new parents.

Yesterday, for example, we dropped off little Molly at the vet's office to have her teeth cleaned. I felt guilty having to leave her in an unfamiliar place all day long to go through an uncomfortable procedure. I even prayed for her safety on my way to work (yes, I'm that pathetic).

When I picked her up in the afternoon, she wasn't her usual perky self (still groggy from the anesthesia), and all I wanted to do was give her a big hug and let her rest in the comfort of home all evening. But first, I had to get her home.

It was only a five-minute drive (if that), but by the time I was turning onto our street, Molly had begun making gagging noises. "No, Molly--hold on for just 15 seconds!" I said as I zoomed toward our driveway. But alas--she puked all over the floor of my car.

I could say that this is good parental preparation because of all the messes (including puke) that we'll have to clean up. But it's good preparation in other ways too--like in how it reminds us that those we love don't always deserve our love and sometimes don't make it easy to love, but we choose to love anyway. Our child will sometimes be noisy, expensive, messy, and disobedient. But for some reason, we'll love him no less with each new fiasco. And unlike Molly, someday he'll be able to tell us that he loves us back. That's worth cleaning up a little puke now and then.

Hello, Appetite

What's on my mind today? Food. It doesn't matter that I just had lunch. For some reason, over the last couple of days I seem to have developed an insatiable appetite. I realize that pregnant women aren't really supposed to take the phrase "eating for two" literally. But holy cow... I'm hungry. All. the. time.

Maybe my body is making up for the weeks and weeks of morning sickness in which it was impossible to enjoy food. Or maybe Perrin just really likes to pig out and is sending me cues to eat, eat, eat. Whatever it is, I'm torn between wanting to make healthy choices and not gain 50 pounds verses wanting to give in to temptation and have all the tasty food my tummy desires.

Trey hasn't been the best influence. He's just been waiting for the day when I would give in to my pregnant woman cravings so that he could pig out right along with me. But I'm going to be strong. I'm going to resist. As soon as I've had one more dove chocolate.

It's an ear! It's a foot! It's... wait, what IS it??

Ultrasound technology is pretty darn nifty. Who would have thought some jelly and a remote control thing could give you an inside glimpse of a baby in the making? Even so, I had a really hard time figuring out exactly what I was looking at on the screen today when we went in for our 20-week ultrasound.

At times, I was able to pick out an arm or leg and nod enthusiastically when the nurse pointed it out. At other times, I just had to take her word for it. (That's the mouth, right? Oh, it's the heart? Right, of course I see that. Totally looks like a heart. That was my next guess.)

Luckily, she was able to get the baby into a nice position for us to see that we are in fact having a boy. (I knew it!!) She even drew us a nice little line on the computer screen pointing directly to his... well, anyway, it's obvious that we are definitely having a boy.

And without further ado, the wonder of ultrasound (which is not quite as wondrous as the ability of humans to grow new humans inside them, but still very cool):

Babies for Dummies

You know all those yellow textbook-like manuals labeled "something-or-other for dummies"? Given my lack of parental knowledge, I jokingly told myself I need to get "Babies for Dummies." I shouldn't be surprised, but they actually do have "Baby's First Year for Dummies" available at Amazon.

To illustrate just how inept I am when it comes to babies:

• I have only changed two diapers in my entire life.
• I have never been in the same house as an infant overnight.
• I have no idea how to properly hook up an infant car seat.
• I'm pretty fuzzy on the whole concept of burping. Does the baby need to burp after every meal? If I think the baby needs to burp, at what point to I stop whacking the baby on the back and give up?
• I'm confused about what parents do when they're out and the baby needs to be changed, but there's no changing table to be found. Or no bathroom at all, for that matter.
• I'm unsure just how safe it is for a baby to crawl around on a floor that is home to enough dog hair to build a replica 20-pound Corgi. Is that a major red flag? Or should we assume that a bit of Corgi hair never hurt anyone?

I'm thinking even a book for dummies is not sufficient to prepare us for what we're getting ourselves into. Nothing but good, old-fashioned experience will do the trick. I do feel a bit sorry for our first child... I'm betting we'll make most of our dumb parent mistakes on this one.

The convenience of kids

Before I got pregnant, I thought a lot about how inconvenient children must be. You love them, sure, but they certainly make life a bit more complex. But recently, I've started realizing all the things kids are incredibly convenient for. One particular example comes to mind:

When Trey and I went on a cruise a few weeks ago, I couldn't resist the temptation to try out all the water slides on the boat, pregnant belly and all. But standing in line behind 4 or 5 six-year-olds made me feel just a wee bit silly. Then I noticed right behind me was a man who looked to be in his late 30s. Sweet! I wasn't the only adult! My triumph was cut short when I realized he was consoling his daughter and assuring her the slide would be fun. "See, I'm right here," he said. "I'll go down with you, and it won't be scary at all!"

So, I have to admit, of the many things I'm looking forward to about starting a family, I'm really looking forward to using our children as an excuse to continue doing all of those things that I apparently have not quite outgrown. Our kids are sure to embarrass me on occasion, right? So I think it's only fair that they save me from some embarrassment too.

What were they eating?!?

So, yesterday I joked about having a 20 pound baby. Today I read an article on AOL news about an Indonesian woman who birthed a 19.2 pound jumbo baby. Sadly, that's not even the record for biggest baby--that goes to some poor woman's 22.44 pounder.

I really was only kidding--I had no idea a 20 pound baby was even plausible. I mean, a car tire weighs 20 pounds. A lot of medium-sized dogs (including my corgi) weigh 20 pounds. And this hamburger also weighs 20 pounds:

Maybe those women had a few of these during their pregnancies. That's the only explanation I can come up with, anyway.

Dear Lord, please don't let me have a 20 pound baby. Amen.

I finally got around to posing for a picture to show off my pregnant belly. I've been hesitant to do it before now because I felt like I didn't really look pregnant--just fat. Now that I think it's pretty clear that it's a baby and not twinkies causing the bulge, I have a new concern: If I'm looking like this at only 18 weeks, how on earth am I going to fit through a door by the time I'm nearing the finish line?

I keep hearing stories of all these women who didn't show at all until their 7th month. That's not going to be my story, obviously. For goodness' sake, I've already been asked if I'm having twins!! (I'm not, in case anyone else was wondering the same thing!)

So, here I am at 18 weeks...rather poochy. I'm only half joking about the 20 pound baby thing.