Looking back

With summer in full swing, I've been thinking a lot lately about what last summer was like for me. I was just starting to spread the news that I was pregnant. My jeans were getting tighter, I was throwing up nearly every morning, and February seemed like such a loooong time to wait for the baby to get here. At times, I actually really enjoyed being pregnant... but last summer was NOT one of those times. I remember one morning, I opened the fridge to find some breakfast and I saw a packet of ranch dressing. Then I turned around and hurled in the sink. Because of a stupid packet of ranch dressing! (By the way, I really like ranch dressing. Why it was so gross to me that morning, I'll never know. Pregnancy makes you weird... that's the only explanation).

Well, February came a lot sooner than I was expecting it to, and as much as pregnancy changed my life, nothing has changed my life as much as having a baby and taking care of him day in and day out. And as tough as morning sickness and first-trimester fatigue are, they are nothing compared to caring for an infant. So I have to say that this summer is even tougher than last summer.

It's strange to think about how much my life has changed in a year. But I'm glad it has. Perrin's sitting on my lap trying to help me type, and he's just so cute and sweet! Yeah, he's a lot of work. And sometimes he's cranky and irritating and won't go to sleep. And he poops a lot and spits up on my clothes and sometimes cries for no reason. But he's the best baby in the whole world. I even forgive him for making me throw up so much last year.

Monkey boy

Now that Perrin is 5 months old, we've decided to start him on a little rice cereal to see how he likes it and to get him used to eating food from a spoon. He tried it for the first time last week and LOVED it. He kept trying to steal the spoon away from me, and when I wouldn't hand it over, he lunged toward the food like he was starving.

Thanks to my mom, who is always trying to sneak him a taste of this or that, we've discovered something he loves even more than rice cereal--bananas. So today as a little treat, instead of giving him rice cereal, I mashed up a bit of banana and thinned it with breast milk. His eyes were wide with excitement after the first bite. If I didn't feed him fast enough, he started whimpering. And oh, the mess... banana paste was everywhere. (How exactly did it wind up on my shoulder??) And when all the banana was gone, he was absolutely livid! He screamed at me as I tried my best to wash him up. I had to go distract him with some toys to get his mind off the banana.

Temper tantrum aside, I'm kind of looking forward to introducing him to some other foods soon. But somehow I don't think he's going to get as excited over green beans.

Dedication Day

Sunday was Perrin's baby dedication at church. It was great--very special and meaningful. Not to mention Perrin looked ADORABLE in his suit and tie. We bought it specifically for his dedication, but now I'm trying to think of other excuses for him to get all dressed up. Babies can wear suits to the grocery store, right? And to the library, and to visit Grandma, and at the park?

On a more serious note, it's kind of starting to hit me just how big of a responsibility we have ahead of us as parents. I feel so blessed to have Perrin, but I feel inadequate too--probably as most parents do. Am I going to be able to do enough to help him grow spiritually, physically, emotionally, and intellectually? I guess the short answer is no--I'll never reach that magical place of "enough." But I just have to trust that God will fill in where I fall short as a parent.

Big weekend for a little baby

This has been quite a full (but good) holiday weekend. We took Perrin to his 4 month checkup on Friday (we're a couple weeks behind, but oh well). He weighs 15 lbs 3 oz, which is somewhere in the 50-75th percentile, and he's 28'' long, which, according to our doctor, is once again "off the charts." Just how tall is this boy going be??

Friday night, Perrin spent the night at my parents' house for the first time ever... without us. He seemed to do fine. I, on the other hand, couldn't seem to think or talk about anything besides Perrin for the 15 hours we were apart. Trey and I started our evening alone with a trip to Target (where I looked at baby books and baby clothes), then we had an art night at home (where I painted a watercolor picture of a giant letter P and a baby moose). Then I dreamed about Perrin all night and woke up at 7 AM to call my dad and see how my baby was doing. You'd think I kind of like him, or something.

Saturday night, we took Perrin to his first ever fireworks show. He seemed quite a bit more interested in the street lights than the fireworks, strangely enough. But at least he didn't cry.

We also got Perrin laughing really hard this weekend for the first time. He's given us a couple of tiny chuckles here and there, but he really got the giggles watching Trey stomp around and make funny faces and noises. I was partly laughing at Perrin's cute baby laugh, and partly laughing at how ridiculous Trey looked. Note to self: must have camcorder handy next time.

Sleeping baby

Ahhh... Perrin's taking a nap right now. I really should use the free time to get some work done or do a load of laundry or something. But I just can't seem to pry myself off the couch. It feels so good not to do anything for a few minutes! Plus, I'm tired. Perrin woke up at 1:00 this morning singing. Well, that's what I call it anyway because I'm not sure how else to describe it. He was obviously in a very happy mood and was delighting himself with his newly acquired vocal range. It would have been super cute if it wasn't 1:00 in the morning.

Nap times have gotten interesting. Perrin can't crawl yet... supposedly... but I think maybe he really can and he just hides that fact from us while he's awake. I'll put him down in a certain place in his crib facing a certain direction, and by the time he wakes up, he's in a completely different spot facing the opposite direction. How does he do it? I'm tempted to leave a camcorder on while he's napping. He's apparently much more mobile than I give him credit for. I have noticed that he's getting to where he can scoot himself across the floor a bit. He sticks his bottom way up in the air and pushes with his feet. It looks really funny! I guess that's probably how he's moving around in his crib.

He also drools an insane amount and leaves these giant spit puddles on his sheets. I'm a little afraid he's going to dehydrate. Or drown.

The lengths we'll go to for a date

Trey and I used to go on dates a lot. So that's one thing that we REALLY miss now that we're parents. It's not that we never go on dates anymore; we just don't get to do it frequently, and it takes a lot more planning. And sometimes, it takes a little desperation.

A couple weeks ago, our church had a game night. The grand prize for the person with the most points at the end of the night was a $25 restaurant gift card. Trey and I were determined to win.

If you've ever seen the TV show "Minute to Win it," that's what these games were like. We balanced cookies on our foreheads and had to get them to our mouths only using the muscles in our face (for the record, I ate 3 and Trey ate 5. Not too shabby!) We sorted M&Ms by color using chopsticks and transferred M&Ms from one container to another by sucking them up with straws. We unrolled a roll of toilet paper around ourselves as quickly as we could. And, my personal favorite, we acted like elephants and knocked over cans:

Yes, my husband is wearing pantyhose on his head with a tennis ball inside. And yes, I got his permission before I posted these pics.

I'm happy to report that for all of our efforts, we emerged victorious and won the gift card. So we went on a date last weekend, and it didn't cost us a thing! (Well, except for our dignity.)

The ups and downs of a stay-at-home mom

I used to have a somewhat heightened perception of what it would be like to be a stay-at-home mom. I mean, I knew it wasn't all sunshine and smiles and luxurious naps, but I definitely thought it would be easier than working full time. Guess what: it's NOT! I don't regret my decision at all, but this is one tough job! Here are a few things that make this a crazy hard job:

1. I miss out on things. Today, for example, Steven Curtis Chapman and his wife were at FamilyLife to talk to our staff and lead them in a time of worship. I keep hearing how amazing and wonderful and funny they were. Dang, I wish I could have been there. But I don't think the sound of Perrin's wailing would have made a good accompaniment to SCC's voice.

2. I get lonely. I talk to Perrin all day long, but he's really not the best conversationalist. I'm so attention-starved by the time Trey gets home that I talk 300 miles an hour about all the mundane things I did all day long. "I changed Perrin's diaper, then we went for a walk, then he was really cranky so I rocked him until he fell asleep, and then I checked my e-mails and caught up on some work stuff. Oh, and then he woke up and I fed him, and then we read a book, and then I made some lunch...." I can usually see Trey's eyes glazing over by the time I'm about halfway through my monologue. But I can't help it. I NEED to talk to someone. Even if I have absolutely nothing to say.

3. I don't get to have weekends. Perrin doesn't care if it's Saturday--he's still going to wake up at the crack of dawn and want me to get him out of his crib. He's still going to cry and need me to change his diapers and feed him and give him attention all day. He certainly never asks me if I need a break.

Whew... as tough as this is, I really don't see how moms do it when they have to take care of a baby on top of working 40 hours a week. And single moms--wow. That's all I can say... wow.

Sometimes Perrin makes it all worth it though--like when I get him out of his crib in the morning and he's so smiley and happy to see me. Or when he does something cute, like making a new sound that he's never made before, and looks up at me and grins like he's so proud of himself. And when he kicks and splashes in the water during bath time and I can just tell he's having a ball. Yeah, I guess he's worth it all.