I used to have a somewhat heightened perception of what it would be like to be a stay-at-home mom. I mean, I knew it wasn't all sunshine and smiles and luxurious naps, but I definitely thought it would be easier than working full time. Guess what: it's NOT! I don't regret my decision at all, but this is one tough job! Here are a few things that make this a crazy hard job:
1. I miss out on things. Today, for example, Steven Curtis Chapman and his wife were at FamilyLife to talk to our staff and lead them in a time of worship. I keep hearing how amazing and wonderful and funny they were. Dang, I wish I could have been there. But I don't think the sound of Perrin's wailing would have made a good accompaniment to SCC's voice.
2. I get lonely. I talk to Perrin all day long, but he's really not the best conversationalist. I'm so attention-starved by the time Trey gets home that I talk 300 miles an hour about all the mundane things I did all day long. "I changed Perrin's diaper, then we went for a walk, then he was really cranky so I rocked him until he fell asleep, and then I checked my e-mails and caught up on some work stuff. Oh, and then he woke up and I fed him, and then we read a book, and then I made some lunch...." I can usually see Trey's eyes glazing over by the time I'm about halfway through my monologue. But I can't help it. I NEED to talk to someone. Even if I have absolutely nothing to say.
3. I don't get to have weekends. Perrin doesn't care if it's Saturday--he's still going to wake up at the crack of dawn and want me to get him out of his crib. He's still going to cry and need me to change his diapers and feed him and give him attention all day. He certainly never asks me if I need a break.
Whew... as tough as this is, I really don't see how moms do it when they have to take care of a baby on top of working 40 hours a week. And single moms--wow. That's all I can say... wow.
Sometimes Perrin makes it all worth it though--like when I get him out of his crib in the morning and he's so smiley and happy to see me. Or when he does something cute, like making a new sound that he's never made before, and looks up at me and grins like he's so proud of himself. And when he kicks and splashes in the water during bath time and I can just tell he's having a ball. Yeah, I guess he's worth it all.
I am with you 100%! Will it be better or worse when the kids start talking?
ReplyDelete:-)
I've been on both sides and you are right, staying home is the harder job. It gets better though. When you start to be able to predict the daily schedule, you find little windows of time to meet up with other moms or even just talk to them on the phone. I try to invite a friend or have some one-on-one time with any errand or activity I can. When he gets older you may find some playgroups too. I know a lot of nieghborhoods have them, and if not, you could start one!
ReplyDeleteJacob and I take turns sleeping in on days off so we still get that treat every now and then. You'll settle in to this new way of life and figure out how to re-engage in the other aspects as well. Not to sound like I have all the answers, you and Trey will figure out your own answers that work for you and your family. I just want to encourage you that it is hard, but you learn and it gets better. And worse case scenario it doesn't get better, remember you have a body of believers that God can use to help you. Final encouragement, no woman starts out being an awesome mom that can juggle it all with grace and wisdom; it's learned and granted with time, experience and lots of prayer.