Perrin may not realize it, but he's in the final days of being an only child. My doctor told me at my appointment two days ago that I'm 1 cm dilated, so we're on our way! We've been trying to spend extra time with Perrin doing some fun things in these last weeks before the birth, knowing that soon he probably won't get as much one-on-one time as he's used to. Yesterday I took him on a field trip with his Mother's Day Out program to the pumpkin patch. It was so much fun!
Here we are, near the entrance. From the looks of my belly, it's pretty appropriate that I'm standing next to a giant pig. Speaking of pigs, we got to watch a few pig races while we were there. Miss Piggy won every time. She was apparently highly motivated by Fritos. Also, you can see a little bit of the tire tower in the background. Perrin had a good time scrambling his way to the top.
Next, Perrin wanted to go down the slide. So I stuck him in a potato sack and sent him careening down. The first time he went, we were both a little surprised at how fast it was. Just look at that face!
I didn't know if he'd want to go again, but after the initial shock, I guess he decided he liked it. He was a little better prepared the second time.
Of course, we had to go see the animals. They had goats, sheep, chickens, llamas, and bunnies. Good thing the goats were on the other side of the fence because one of them tried to head-butt Perrin when he grabbed its horn.
Next, we got to go on a hay ride! The tractor pulled us out to a big field where all the kids got to get out a pick a pumpkin. Perrin picked out about 4, and I told him to choose just one. This one was the lucky winner. Perrin asked me if he could eat it. He's his father's son, for sure.
We had some time to just explore the farm before and after our picnic lunch, so Perrin climbed on haystacks, played in the corn pool (which is exactly what it sounds like) and "drove" a choo-choo train.
We had such a good time that I'm already making plans for us to go back next year... as a family of four. :)
We've made it to October, which means our daughter might be born THIS MONTH! I feel like I've been pregnant for about a decade, but even so, it's strange to think we're finally nearing the end (or rather, the beginning). And I realized the other day that I've taken almost no pictures of this pregnancy, so I had Trey snap a picture of me a few days ago at 35 weeks. I seem to have exploded in growth lately:
When I reached this point with Perrin, I was concerned a lot with the impending labor and delivery, and I was wondering if I would know how to take care of a baby. This time, I'm not too worried about labor (surely it can't be as bad as the 56 hours of torture I survived with Perrin), plus I feel a little more confident about all the baby things that were so mysterious to me the first time around. Most of my worries this time are centered around Perrin and how he'll handle the transition and how I'm going to juggle the demands of a newborn with a very rambunctious toddler.
Yesterday Perrin was singing Happy Birthday to my tummy,which was very cute and sweet. And he mentioned something to me about Brielle playing choo-choo trains with him. So he doesn't seem disturbed at all that a baby is coming to live with us soon. On the other hand, he really has no idea what he's in for. It's obvious to me from the times I've babysat other kids that he does not like to share me. So I keep wondering how in the world this is going to work out. Then I have to remind myself that millions of people have managed two kids at once. Some people even manage 5 or 10 or 15 kids at once. Having only two kids sounds like a walk in the park when you look at it that way. (Of course, I don't think ANYONE could handle 15 Perrins. It would be the cutest, most destructive, hyperactive, dog-terrorizing crew of energetic nudists this world has ever seen. Not that I would change anything about him because I truly do love his spunky personality--chaos and all.)
I could analyze this situation to death, but I'm just going to have to wait and see how it all goes. Until then, I'll spend lots of quality time with my little boy and enjoy all the one-on-one time we have for now. And I'll marvel at the little life kicking away inside me and appreciate these last weeks of pregnancy (in spite of back aches, heartburn, and my Shamu-like figure) because this could be the last time I experience the miracle of pregnancy.
I love my kids. And I believe that one day they'll love each other. And somehow God will enable me and Trey to give our kids all the love and attention they both need and deserve.
Perrin started back at "school" (Mother's Day Out) a couple weeks ago. All of last year, he went only one day a week (5 hours total). This year he's in it two days a week. He's adjusting wonderfully--he loves going to school to play with toys and go down the slide and make new friends. Plus he's learning some preschool concepts in a really low-pressure environment.
Just one teensy problem. HE WON'T KEEP HIS CLOTHES ON!!! Since he's about 98% potty trained at this point, I've been sending him to school in underwear. He's handled it really well, for the most part. But the very first day of school he needed to go potty, and I guess he wasn't sure what to do. So he just stripped naked in the middle of the classroom. The teachers were busy getting lunches ready, so they didn't notice until a little girl screamed, "He's NAKED!"
::Sigh:: The teachers were really nice to me about it. They said it wasn't a big deal, but I might want to have a little conversation with him about it. Uh, yeah... I'll just say, "Perrin keep your clothes on, okay?" And he'll say, "Yes, Mother." And our problems will be solved. Now why didn't I think of that?
Well, I DID talk to him about it, and he did fine for the next week or so. Then earlier this week he did it again. But this time, after he undressed himself, he redressed himself. Progress! Unfortunately, Perrin really isn't so good at dressing himself yet... he pulled his cargo shorts on backwards. His teachers thought it might be demoralizing to redress him, so they praised his efforts and let him wear backwards shorts the rest of the day. When I went to pick him up, his cargo strings were hanging down behind him like little twin tails. I have to admit I felt a little silly walking out of school with him.
Perrin has been doing surprisingly well with potty training lately. He wore underwear all day long yesterday (even to church in the morning) with no accidents. Yippie! We taught him how to pull down his pants and underwear for himself so he doesn't need help every step of the way. He likes that part. Good news: he can go potty on his own without even telling me he needs to go. Bad news: He can get his clothes off, but he can't get them back on. And he happens to love running around naked.
The other day, his cousin Brandon was over playing at our house. The boys disappeared for a few minutes, and when they came back, Perrin had taken off all his clothes and was dragging his potty chair into the living room floor. With Brandon watching, Perrin sat down, pottied, and clapped for himself. I took him to the bathroom and reminded him that we need to keep our clothes ON in front of other people. But I also praised him for going in the potty. Maybe the mix of praise and correction was confusing for him. Whatever the case, he still seems to think it's perfectly acceptable to take off his clothes whenever and wherever he feels like it.
We've had a couple more "incidences" since then. Yesterday at my parents house, Perrin climbed into the bed of my dad's truck and for some reason decided to take off his pants and underwear. I ran over and got him dressed, but by then he'd already given the neighborhood a show.
Today I needed to get some dishes done, so I let Perrin go out into the backyard to play. He likes playing out there by himself (I guess it makes him feel grown up) and I can easily keep an eye on him from the kitchen window. I noticed him playing in the sand box, and then groaned when I remembered that it was filled with rain water. I knew Perrin would be filthy. I watched him for a few minutes and thought, "Hmm. It kind of looks like he took his shirt off." I squinted, trying to see if he really had taken his shirt off or if it was just difficult for me to see a light yellow shirt from that distance. Sure enough, I decided he had definitely taken his shirt off. Then he stood up. He was 100% naked, and dripping with sand and dirty water.
I rushed outside, carried his squirmy body into the house and deposited him in the bath tub, despite his protests to the tune of "Perrin swim in sand box!! Perrin swim in sand box!!"
Whew. I'm not sure what to do with this kid. I can just see him stripping the next time we're grocery shopping. Anyone know how to instill a sense of modesty in a two-year-old exhibitionist?
It's barely after noon, and so far today Perrin has pooped in his underwear, dumped dish detergent all over the kitchen floor, broken a lamp, and walked across the couch with muddy shoes. I can't finish cleaning up one mess before he gets into something else. I'm exhausted and frustrated. And I have to be honest--the broken lamp was the last straw for me, and I did NOT react well. After yelling at Perrin (something I swore I would never do as a parent), I locked him in his room so I could clean up the shards of porcelain. He seemed pretty oblivious to my anger--I could hear him playing with his toys, completely unaware that his mother was entertaining visions of packing him off to live with the grandparents for the next five years.
As I swept and threw away my beautiful lamp (which happened to be a wedding present), I had to remind myself that stuff is just stuff and that the way I raise Perrin will last forever. Since he was playing happily in his bedroom, I took a few minutes to stretch out on the couch and read a few passages from Psalms. Then I went to check on Perrin (good thing, too, because he was about to smear play-dough all over his face). I gave him a hug and apologized for yelling at him. I know he wasn't trying to be bad today. He's just a normal two-year-old.
I love what Psalm 127:3-4 says about kids: "Behold, children are a gift of the Lord. The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth."
I know Perrin is a gift. He's a gift in the sense that he brings me so much joy and fills me with love. But he's a gift in a less obvious way, too--he forces me to become a less selfish, more humble, more patient and loving version of myself. And that's not always fun, to be honest. And like today, I don't always pass the test. Instead I get a glimpse into my human nature that reminds me how desperately I need God to help me live up to the incredible privilege of being a mom.
When I feel like a failure, I have to remind myself that God not only uses times like these to show me my weaknesses and my need for His grace in my life, but He can also use them for good in Perrin's life. Perrin will learn a lot more from a mother who messes up but admits to those faults and seeks forgiveness than from a mother who acts perfectly all the time.
Even so, it's tough. Raising kids is tough. Sanctification is tough. Typing out this blog and admitting to myself how far short I fall is tough. But it's worth it.
I started going to a zumba class back in December or January, and I really loved it. Then towards the end of February I found out I was pregnant, and within a couple weeks I was puking non-stop and barely had the energy to peel my head off the pillow in the mornings, much less shake my booty for a solid hour. But once I finally got past the morning sickness, I returned to zumba, baby bump and all.
So Brielle and I have been dancing to sexy Latin music a couple times a week for the past couple months. Now that I'm about 6 months pregnant though, I'm definitely realizing that my zumba days are numbered. My belly is getting bigger and I'm a little afraid I'm going to shake her out onto the gym floor if I'm not careful. Plus I can feel my stamina leaking away week by week.
Case in point: Yesterday morning I went to zumba like usual. After about 45 minutes into it, I was huffing and puffing and clutching my belly as I jumped around during a particularly fast song. When the song ended, a girl next to me asked really sweetly, "Are you okay?"
"Yeah," I wheezed. "It's just a lot of bouncing. It's getting a little tougher for me."
"You're not about to go into labor, are you?"
"No, I'm only about 6 months."
"Okay... well, just take it easy. Be sure to sit down if you need to." She eyed me skeptically, like she thought I might keel over at any minute.
Hmmm. I guess I was looking a little overspent. And I admitted to myself that I probably should take a break--an hour of cardio is a lot for a pregnant woman. But I have this teensy tiny problem... I can be a wee bit competitive. (I know, that's a shocker, right?) And as I looked around the room, I kept thinking, "If all these ladies can make it a full hour without taking a break, I can too!"
But since I truly don't want to go into labor on the gym floor, I'm resolving to take it a little easier from here on out. I just need to swallow my pride and admit that my body needs more rest these days. Speaking of swallowing my pride, I should also admit that being pregnant and doing zumba is probably the dorkiest-looking thing I could do. Actually, that reminds me of a picture Trey found online for me not too long ago:
Perrin is taking a nice, long nap right now. I think he's making up for being on the go constantly the past few days. Monday he went with his Aunt Bonnie, Uncle Paul, and cousin Brandon (or as Perrin calls him, "Bacon") to the zoo. Tuesday he went with them to the Children's Museum. Tuesday night we took the boys to Chuck E Cheese (Trey and I did our duty and played about 50 rounds of skeeball to earn the boys enough tickets to buy toys and candy. I'm sure the prizes equate to roughly $5 per tiny box of nerds, but hey... you gotta do what you gotta do). Wednesday we took them to the park, then to Brandon's Granny's house to swim in the pool.
Whew. That's a lot of fun packed into a few days for a 2 and 3 year-old. But I have to say, they are sooooooo cute together! Every morning this week, Perrin has been waking up and saying, "Play with Bacon!" And since Perrin likes to run away, Brandon made it his personal mission to go after Perrin and drag him by the hand back to the group every time Perrin tried to go off and explore. "Bacon" comes in handy!
A couple things I noticed this week: Perrin has become really social. He's not a baby anymore. He's interested in making friends and having adventures on his own away from Mommy. Kind of sad. The other thing I noticed is that he's bossy. I don't know how many times I overheard him saying stuff like, "Bacon, sit. Bacon, come here. Bacon, stop that." I have no idea where he could have gotten his bossiness from. As I told Trey the other day, I'm certainly not bossy. I just know what everyone else is supposed to be doing at all times.
Brandon is headed back home to Northwest Arkansas today, so Perrin has lost his new BFF until next visit. When Perrin asked about "Bacon" this morning, I tried to explain that he had gone back home and we would see him again someday soon. I was feeling kind of sad for my boy, knowing that a month or two is like a lifetime when you're a toddler. I asked him if he missed Brandon. He nodded. Then he told me I have pretty toes. I guess he's not too choked up.
Here we are, near the entrance. From the looks of my belly, it's pretty appropriate that I'm standing next to a giant pig. Speaking of pigs, we got to watch a few pig races while we were there. Miss Piggy won every time. She was apparently highly motivated by Fritos. Also, you can see a little bit of the tire tower in the background. Perrin had a good time scrambling his way to the top. 
Of course, we had to go see the animals. They had goats, sheep, chickens, llamas, and bunnies. Good thing the goats were on the other side of the fence because one of them tried to head-butt Perrin when he grabbed its horn.
We had some time to just explore the farm before and after our picnic lunch, so Perrin climbed on haystacks, played in the corn pool (which is exactly what it sounds like) and "drove" a choo-choo train.
