Weekly date night

What do you get when you cross an oatmeal-stained ceiling, a dog with stickers on her back, and a strange smell coming from the bottom of the toy box? Daily life in the Richardson house! Seriously though, as much as I joke about the craziness of life with little ones, sometimes I just need a break from it all. Unfortunately, Trey and I aren't in a position to hire a babysitter every week just so we can get out for an hour or two of refreshment. So a couple months ago I came up with what might be my best idea of all time: weekly date night at home.

We've declared every Friday night "date night." We do our best to get the kids to bed early (7:30ish), and we have a few uninterrupted hours where we focus just on each other--no kids, cleaning, work, or stress of any kind allowed. We take turns planning date night. For example, last week was my week, so after the kids were fast asleep, I made hot chocolate and we went out to the car and curled up under a big blanket, listening to music and talking. I made "conversation hearts" out of construction paper and whenever we reached a lull in the conversation, I let Trey pick a heart and we would discuss the topic or question on it.This week is Trey's week to plan it, so I'm not sure what we're doing, but I think it involves games and cocktails. Sometimes we bake together; sometimes we play video games or watch a movie; sometimes we do a project or activity (crossword puzzles, looking through photo albums, creating "art" of some sort); sometimes we read and discuss Scripture. We might do scavenger hunts, photo shoots, puzzles, etc. The list goes on and on. It's surprising the amount of things we can come up with! Friday night has become my favorite night of the week... it gives us something to look forward to and gives us a much-needed break from focusing all our energy and attention on the kids. Planning date night is fun because I get to decide what we do and what we eat (and thanks to Pinterest, I have LOTS of good food ideas). But letting Trey plan it is fun too because I don't have to do anything but wait for whatever surprises he has in store for the night.

Honestly, date night has become so important to us that I don't know how we survived without it! I highly recommend it for all you parents out there. And if you have your own "date night at home" idea, I want to hear it! Cuz I might steal it. :)

Three!

My sweet little boy is 3 years old! He's getting so grown up... he loves making friends and telling jokes and asking "why" a thousand times a day. He's so smart and funny and energetic, and I love seeing his personality develop. He's so interested in the world--he truly loves to learn, and he's so creative and spunky.

We had a great time celebrating his birthday over the weekend. We rented a huge bounce house and invited a few of his pals over. We bought him a Thomas birthday cake (cuz the boy is OBSESSED with Thomas and anything train related). It went great--Perrin loved playing with his friends and opening presents, no one got hurt in the bounce house, and I'm guessing every kid slept really good that night after bouncing up and down for a good hour and a half.

Although I miss the baby he's grown out of, I love the curious toddler he's become. He cracks me up every day. Here's a tiny taste of what life is like with him--these are questions Perrin has asked me in the past 24 hours:

"Is Brielle baby Jesus?"
"Can I build a giraffe?"
"Do trains go pee pee?"
"Can I shoot you with silly string?" (by the way, I let him... and I wish I'd gotten his maniacal laugh on video)
"Can you take your hair off?"

And on and on it goes. He gives me good blog fodder every day, but I never get around to documenting most of it. I really should start writing things down more. Three years has gone by quick... I'm sure the next three will too, and before I know it he'll be out of this hilarious stage where nearly everything he says makes me smile.

Happy birthday to the best unintentional comedian I know!

Tackling tough topics

My grandfather passed away last week. We'd been expecting it for awhile (he's been battling cancer for a couple of years), but even though we were prepared and even though I can be glad he's no longer suffering, death is always sad. And it presented a new parenting hurdle--how much should I tell Perrin? How much is he capable of understanding?

The funeral was about a 5-hour drive away, and unfortunately Trey couldn't get off work. So I loaded up both kids and a ridiculous amount of luggage for a one-night stay, and the three of us trekked off to Missouri with my parents and Julie. When Perrin found out we were going on a trip to Missouri, he asked about "Big Ba" (which is the name he gave to my grandpa). I explained that Big Ba had died, and that meant he wasn't sick anymore. Perrin seemed content with that explanation, so I didn't bother elaborating.

When we got to the viewing (open casket) on Monday night, I decided to take my cues from Perrin. If he wanted to go see Big Ba, I would let him, but I wasn't going to push him toward that if he wasn't interested. Perrin hovered a little ways back and kept asking me, "What's Big Ba doing?" I'm sure he noticed relatives around him crying, and I think he wanted some assurance from me that everything was okay. I sat him on my lap and told him again that Big Ba had died. I explained that he had gone to heaven and we would see him again someday. I was feeling very somber and hoping I had given the right amount of information for him. Perrin looked at me with wide eyes--apparently he thought I said "Kevin" instead of "heaven"... (Kevin, in case you don't have a two-year-old obsessed with Thomas the train, is a piece of machinery that works at the Sodor Steamworks), so he got excited and asked if Big Ba was with Kevin and Thomas. I cracked up. I couldn't help it. Here I was trying to explain death to my toddler and worrying that I was going to crush his little heart once he realized what was really going on, but he was imagining his great grandfather having a jolly time with all his train friends.

For Perrin's sake, I'm glad he's not quite old enough to understand death. I'm glad he's picturing Big Ba playing with trains on the Island of Sodor. I'm glad as a parent that I can dodge this tough topic for the time being. I know someday he'll understand death and he'll lose someone he loves. I wish I could protect my children from every heartache, but it's just not possible. Fortunately, I can point them to a God who loves them, who is in control, who understands their fears and pains, and who has already defeated death for our sakes.

Big Ba, we'll see you again someday. I'm so glad you're no longer in pain, and I smile every time I think of you seeing your wife and son again. Save us a seat, okay? Oh, and Perrin requests that you say hello to Thomas and Kevin for us.

It takes two

Trey's been in Denver for the past few days for work, which means I've gotten to experience a brief glimpse of single motherhood to a 2-year-old and a newborn. Single moms: HOW do you do it?? Trey: Please please please don't ever leave me ever ever again!

Yep, I've decided I'm simply not cut out to do this alone. Both kids are very needy at the moment (Brielle because she's a newborn, and Perrin because there's a new baby in the house... and he's still only 2 after all), and I constantly felt like there wasn't enough of me to go around. (WHY does Perrin ALWAYS decide he needs help using the bathroom when I'm in the middle of nursing Brielle? Poor girl never gets an uninterrupted meal these days. I guess she gets him back though because she always wakes up screaming when I'm trying to fix him breakfast. The sibling rivalry has begun.)

Anyway, I think Perrin had a tough time with his daddy being gone, too. Last night he woke me up at 11:00, crying and saying he wanted to snuggle. I assumed he was probably missing Trey and just needed a little love. I hugged him and carried him back to his bed, prayed for him and said good night. End of story. Right? Nope. He showed up again at midnight. I repeated the process. Then again at 1:00. Repeat. Then again at 2:00. Repeat.

But as I sat here today feeling tired and sorry for myself and counting down the minutes until Trey would be back home, I realized how blessed I am that I have someone to rely on and help me raise our kids. Lots of single moms do it day in and day out with virtually no help and no end in sight. I've never thought much about single moms and what they have to do to provide for their families, and I know my four days alone (and working only a couple hours a day instead of full-time) isn't sufficient to really show me the extreme difficulty of it.

In summary:
1. I'm extremely thankful for my husband and so glad that he's back home
2. I have the utmost respect for single moms who are making the best of a very tough situation
3. I need to stop my whining, because I'm pretty darn fortunate
4. But I am still very, very tired today so I'm going to call it quits and go to bed

Merry Christmas Eve Eve Eve!

I'm really excited about Christmas this year, mostly because Perrin is really excited about Christmas this year. He's had the hardest time staying away from the wrapped presents under the tree--he knows they're for him and he's just dying to open them. (And he's nearly succeeded a couple of times when I had my back turned).

 Yesterday when I asked him what he wants for Christmas, he said, "A baby." I wasn't sure if I'd heard him right, so I asked him to tell me again. "I want two Brielles," he said. Ha. As much as I love Brielle, I'm really glad we only have one of her right now. Sorry Perrin--no more Brielles for us. But I do think it's sweet that he wants another Brielle for Christmas.

I've spent a lot of time this year teaching Perrin the Christmas story with a child-friendly nativity set. He wants to play with it and hear the story just about every day. So he knows all about Mary, Joseph, and baby Jesus, but he's still pretty hazy on the idea of Santa. We took him to the library to let him meet Santa last week, and he totally did not understand the concept of sitting on Santa's lap to tell him what he wants for Christmas. Instead, he looked back at us like, "Who is this guy, again?"

 

So we never actually got him to sit on Santa's lap. Oh well. He's had lots of other fun experiences this Christmas season, like helping bake and decorate sugar cookies (oh, the mess) and watching classic Christmas cartoons (over and over and over and over and over) and decorating a gingerbread train (which he sneakily munched on over the next couple of weeks until I finally threw it away) and entertaining us with his debut performance as a drummer boy in our church Christmas play (where he spent part of the time drumming the poinsettias instead of his drum and part of the time wandering aimlessly across the stage with his back turned to the audience. But he sure looked cute doing it!)

 

Birthday thoughts

Yesterday was my 28th birthday. It's hard to believe I'm near the end of my 20s... they've gone by fast. (I also just realized that I met Trey more than 10 years ago... wow! Has it really been that long??) So here we are, with a house and two kids, rapidly approaching 30.

We went on a date last night to celebrate, and we left both kids with my parents for the first time. I love my kids, but oh my goodness it was SO incredibly great to get out of the house and enjoy being a couple again. I think sometimes we get so wrapped up in being parents that we forget that we're a young couple in love and that we occasionally need to spend time together talking about something other than choo-choo trains and poop.

We went to Conway for the evening to do some Christmas shopping and eat at one of my favorite restaurants, Mike's Place. There was something really special about going back to the town where we met and fell in love. We drove around and talked about all of our memories there, like the time we went to the park and Trey ordered a pizza in a British accent, or the time I was late for work because Trey and I were having a stimulating conversation online about eyebrows or something, or the time we played on some abandoned carnival rides at midnight (and Trey was freaking out the whole time because he thought the cops would come after us), or the time the cops DID come after us at another park (but we were innocent that time--really.)

After dinner, we drove out to Toad Suck park out on the river. We used to go there for picnics all the time when we were dating. It was dark and chilly, but we walked around for a little while and finally found what we were looking for--a bench where Trey had carved our initials and a heart more than eight years ago. It was still there! We've changed a lot in eight years, but somewhere deep down we're still that couple that loves to explore and enjoy the world together. I wouldn't trade parenthood for anything, but I'm thankful for times like last night to remind me that I'm not JUST a mother... I'm also Trey's wife and best friend. And even though we're currently sleep-deprived and ankle deep in diapers, spit up, and annoying toys, we still like to be goofy and have fun together. And there will be more opportunities for goofy-ness in the future. Life is a lot of work right now, but it won't always be this hard. And someday we can include our kids in our adventures. I told Trey last night that we should take them to Toad Suck in a few years. Maybe we'll even add their initials to our bench.

Two kids: Ten times the work, 1/10 of the sleep

Our baby girl will be three weeks old tomorrow. I can't believe it's already been three weeks! Part of me feels like it's flown by... I still feel like she was just born yesterday. But in some ways it's hard to believe it's only been three weeks because we've had plenty of loooooong days and nights that have made the time drag by.

So here's a recap of our first three weeks as a family of four. In a nutshell: I am TIRED. I'm up and down with Brielle all night long, some nights only getting a couple hours of sleep. Then I'm up with Perrin by about 6 AM every day. That's one reason I'm just now getting around to blogging--if I have a spare moment where both the kids are occupied and/or sleeping, I'm most likely going to spend some quality time with the couch rather than do anything that requires a moderate amount of brain function.

For about as long as I can remember, I've always spent time praying at night in bed before I fall asleep. I've noticed lately that my prayers have gotten a little weird... like, "God, please watch over our family and purple elephants skydive in the ocean....zzzzzzzz." I really do try to stay awake for meaningful prayer time, but it's like I start dreaming while I'm still praying. Perhaps I should try praying out loud--maybe I could stay awake that way. Or if not, at least it would give Trey a good laugh.

Perrin is still doing great as a big brother. He's always asking to hold Brielle, and he gives her kisses and asks to see her "little bitty baby toes." He helps me change her diapers and he checks on her when she's sleeping. He's been pretty perfect, aside from one instance when he asked if he could eat her. But I'm pretty sure he was joking. Hopefully.

On a more serious note, I passed out a couple nights ago. I got up in the middle of the night and was on my way to the bathroom. The next thing I knew, Trey was waking me up from our bedroom floor. Apparently I crashed pretty hard and woke him up. I'm thinking it was caused by anemia... but whatever the case, it was a little scary. I'm having my blood drawn soon to see if we can figure out what's going on. If it is anemia (and I'm almost positive it is), then that adds another layer of fatigue to my already zombie-like body. This zombie will be really happy when Brielle is sleeping through the night!

Despite the challenges, I'm really happy with our little family. Perrin is growing up so fast--he's learning new things every day, getting taller by the second, and talking our ears off. Brielle is so sweet and cute and tiny. I love holding her and rocking her and can't wait to see her personality develop. Our kids are worth all the hard work and sleepless nights. I just need to remind myself of that at 3:00 in the morning. :)