Two kids: Ten times the work, 1/10 of the sleep

Our baby girl will be three weeks old tomorrow. I can't believe it's already been three weeks! Part of me feels like it's flown by... I still feel like she was just born yesterday. But in some ways it's hard to believe it's only been three weeks because we've had plenty of loooooong days and nights that have made the time drag by.

So here's a recap of our first three weeks as a family of four. In a nutshell: I am TIRED. I'm up and down with Brielle all night long, some nights only getting a couple hours of sleep. Then I'm up with Perrin by about 6 AM every day. That's one reason I'm just now getting around to blogging--if I have a spare moment where both the kids are occupied and/or sleeping, I'm most likely going to spend some quality time with the couch rather than do anything that requires a moderate amount of brain function.

For about as long as I can remember, I've always spent time praying at night in bed before I fall asleep. I've noticed lately that my prayers have gotten a little weird... like, "God, please watch over our family and purple elephants skydive in the ocean....zzzzzzzz." I really do try to stay awake for meaningful prayer time, but it's like I start dreaming while I'm still praying. Perhaps I should try praying out loud--maybe I could stay awake that way. Or if not, at least it would give Trey a good laugh.

Perrin is still doing great as a big brother. He's always asking to hold Brielle, and he gives her kisses and asks to see her "little bitty baby toes." He helps me change her diapers and he checks on her when she's sleeping. He's been pretty perfect, aside from one instance when he asked if he could eat her. But I'm pretty sure he was joking. Hopefully.

On a more serious note, I passed out a couple nights ago. I got up in the middle of the night and was on my way to the bathroom. The next thing I knew, Trey was waking me up from our bedroom floor. Apparently I crashed pretty hard and woke him up. I'm thinking it was caused by anemia... but whatever the case, it was a little scary. I'm having my blood drawn soon to see if we can figure out what's going on. If it is anemia (and I'm almost positive it is), then that adds another layer of fatigue to my already zombie-like body. This zombie will be really happy when Brielle is sleeping through the night!

Despite the challenges, I'm really happy with our little family. Perrin is growing up so fast--he's learning new things every day, getting taller by the second, and talking our ears off. Brielle is so sweet and cute and tiny. I love holding her and rocking her and can't wait to see her personality develop. Our kids are worth all the hard work and sleepless nights. I just need to remind myself of that at 3:00 in the morning. :)

Welcome to the world, Brielle!

Our baby girl is here! And I have to say, my labor with her was a lot better than Perrin's. (THANK YOU, Brielle! No 56-hour ordeal this time!) I woke up around midnight Thursday night/Friday morning feeling a lot of pressure, like she had dropped even further down. At about 12:30 AM, my water broke (seems like these things always happen in the middle of the night. What's with that?) So we called my parents to have them come stay at our house with Perrin, and we headed to the hospital. With a little help from pitocin to get my contractions going a little stronger and closer together, she was born about 12 hours later at 12:49 PM. Even the pushing phase was much easier this time around--I pushed through three contractions,and she was out in less than five minutes. Once the doctors and nurses did the initial weight check/APGAR/clean-up, they all cleared out and left us to bond with our sweet little girl. She snuggled down in my arms and even nursed a little before falling asleep.

I was really excited to introduce Perrin to Brielle, but wasn't too sure what he would think. At best, I hoped he'd be mildly interested but mostly indifferent. At worst, I was afraid he'd be jealous or not like her for some reason. It turns out that he is the sweetest big brother I could have imagined! He petted her head and held her hand and asked if she wanted to play choo-choo trains with him. Then he sat beside me in the hospital bed and held her across his lap. So far, so good! I hope he keeps his sweet nature when he realizes he has to share his mommy with her from now on.

We're back home now, and so far Brielle just seems to sleep and sleep and sleep. Not that I'm complaining... but unfortunately, she wants to do all of her sleeping in someone's arms, which is fine during the day but not so cute at 3:00 in the morning. Oh well... sleep deprivation is part of the package of parenthood. Besides, it's hard to get upset with someone this cute:

Pumpkin patch!

Perrin may not realize it, but he's in the final days of being an only child. My doctor told me at my appointment two days ago that I'm 1 cm dilated, so we're on our way! We've been trying to spend extra time with Perrin doing some fun things in these last weeks before the birth, knowing that soon he probably won't get as much one-on-one time as he's used to. Yesterday I took him on a field trip with his Mother's Day Out program to the pumpkin patch. It was so much fun!

Here we are, near the entrance. From the looks of my belly, it's pretty appropriate that I'm standing next to a giant pig. Speaking of pigs, we got to watch a few pig races while we were there. Miss Piggy won every time. She was apparently highly motivated by Fritos. Also, you can see a little bit of the tire tower in the background. Perrin had a good time scrambling his way to the top.



Next, Perrin wanted to go down the slide. So I stuck him in a potato sack and sent him careening down. The first time he went, we were both a little surprised at how fast it was. Just look at that face!

I didn't know if he'd want to go again, but after the initial shock, I guess he decided he liked it. He was a little better prepared the second time.  

 

Of course, we had to go see the animals. They had goats, sheep, chickens, llamas, and bunnies. Good thing the goats were on the other side of the fence because one of them tried to head-butt Perrin when he grabbed its horn.


Next, we got to go on a hay ride! The tractor pulled us out to a big field where all the kids got to get out a pick a pumpkin. Perrin picked out about 4, and I told him to choose just one. This one was the lucky winner. Perrin asked me if he could eat it. He's his father's son, for sure.

We had some time to just explore the farm before and after our picnic lunch, so Perrin climbed on haystacks, played in the corn pool (which is exactly what it sounds like) and "drove" a choo-choo train.

We had such a good time that I'm already making plans for us to go back next year... as a family of four. :)

Pregnancy update: 35/36 weeks

We've made it to October, which means our daughter might be born THIS MONTH! I feel like I've been pregnant for about a decade, but even so, it's strange to think we're finally nearing the end (or rather, the beginning). And I realized the other day that I've taken almost no pictures of this pregnancy, so I had Trey snap a picture of me a few days ago at 35 weeks. I seem to have exploded in growth lately:

When I reached this point with Perrin, I was concerned a lot with the impending labor and delivery, and I was wondering if I would know how to take care of a baby. This time, I'm not too worried about labor (surely it can't be as bad as the 56 hours of torture I survived with Perrin), plus I feel a little more confident about all the baby things that were so mysterious to me the first time around. Most of my worries this time are centered around Perrin and how he'll handle the transition and how I'm going to juggle the demands of a newborn with a very rambunctious toddler.

Yesterday Perrin was singing Happy Birthday to my tummy,which was very cute and sweet. And he mentioned something to me about Brielle playing choo-choo trains with him. So he doesn't seem disturbed at all that a baby is coming to live with us soon. On the other hand, he really has no idea what he's in for. It's obvious to me from the times I've babysat other kids that he does not like to share me. So I keep wondering how in the world this is going to work out. Then I have to remind myself that millions of people have managed two kids at once. Some people even manage 5 or 10 or 15 kids at once. Having only two kids sounds like a walk in the park when you look at it that way. (Of course, I don't think ANYONE could handle 15 Perrins. It would be the cutest, most destructive, hyperactive, dog-terrorizing crew of energetic nudists this world has ever seen. Not that I would change anything about him because I truly do love his spunky personality--chaos and all.)

I could analyze this situation to death, but I'm just going to have to wait and see how it all goes. Until then, I'll spend lots of quality time with my little boy and enjoy all the one-on-one time we have for now. And I'll marvel at the little life kicking away inside me and appreciate these last weeks of pregnancy (in spite of back aches, heartburn, and my Shamu-like figure) because this could be the last time I experience the miracle of pregnancy.

I love my kids. And I believe that one day they'll love each other. And somehow God will enable me and Trey to give our kids all the love and attention they both need and deserve.

Colors, numbers, and keeping our clothes on

Perrin started back at "school" (Mother's Day Out) a couple weeks ago. All of last year, he went only one day a week (5 hours total). This year he's in it two days a week. He's adjusting wonderfully--he loves going to school to play with toys and go down the slide and make new friends. Plus he's learning some preschool concepts in a really low-pressure environment.

Just one teensy problem. HE WON'T KEEP HIS CLOTHES ON!!! Since he's about 98% potty trained at this point, I've been sending him to school in underwear. He's handled it really well, for the most part. But the very first day of school he needed to go potty, and I guess he wasn't sure what to do. So he just stripped naked in the middle of the classroom. The teachers were busy getting lunches ready, so they didn't notice until a little girl screamed, "He's NAKED!"

::Sigh:: The teachers were really nice to me about it. They said it wasn't a big deal, but I might want to have a little conversation with him about it. Uh, yeah... I'll just say, "Perrin keep your clothes on, okay?" And he'll say, "Yes, Mother." And our problems will be solved. Now why didn't I think of that?

Well, I DID talk to him about it, and he did fine for the next week or so. Then earlier this week he did it again. But this time, after he undressed himself, he redressed himself. Progress! Unfortunately, Perrin really isn't so good at dressing himself yet... he pulled his cargo shorts on backwards. His teachers thought it might be demoralizing to redress him, so they praised his efforts and let him wear backwards shorts the rest of the day. When I went to pick him up, his cargo strings were hanging down behind him like little twin tails. I have to admit I felt a little silly walking out of school with him.

Our toddler, the nudist

Perrin has been doing surprisingly well with potty training lately. He wore underwear all day long yesterday (even to church in the morning) with no accidents. Yippie! We taught him how to pull down his pants and underwear for himself so he doesn't need help every step of the way. He likes that part. Good news: he can go potty on his own without even telling me he needs to go. Bad news: He can get his clothes off, but he can't get them back on. And he happens to love running around naked.

The other day, his cousin Brandon was over playing at our house. The boys disappeared for a few minutes, and when they came back, Perrin had taken off all his clothes and was dragging his potty chair into the living room floor. With Brandon watching, Perrin sat down, pottied, and clapped for himself. I took him to the bathroom and reminded him that we need to keep our clothes ON in front of other people. But I also praised him for going in the potty. Maybe the mix of praise and correction was confusing for him. Whatever the case, he still seems to think it's perfectly acceptable to take off his clothes whenever and wherever he feels like it.

We've had a couple more "incidences" since then. Yesterday at my parents house, Perrin climbed into the bed of my dad's truck and for some reason decided to take off his pants and underwear. I ran over and got him dressed, but by then he'd already given the neighborhood a show.

Today I needed to get some dishes done, so I let Perrin go out into the backyard to play. He likes playing out there by himself (I guess it makes him feel grown up) and I can easily keep an eye on him from the kitchen window. I noticed him playing in the sand box, and then groaned when I remembered that it was filled with rain water. I knew Perrin would be filthy. I watched him for a few minutes and thought, "Hmm. It kind of looks like he took his shirt off." I squinted, trying to see if he really had taken his shirt off or if it was just difficult for me to see a light yellow shirt from that distance. Sure enough, I decided he had definitely taken his shirt off. Then he stood up. He was 100% naked, and dripping with sand and dirty water.

I rushed outside, carried his squirmy body into the house and deposited him in the bath tub, despite his protests to the tune of "Perrin swim in sand box!! Perrin swim in sand box!!"

Whew. I'm not sure what to do with this kid. I can just see him stripping the next time we're grocery shopping. Anyone know how to instill a sense of modesty in a two-year-old exhibitionist?

poop+mud+mess=sanctification

It's barely after noon, and so far today Perrin has pooped in his underwear, dumped dish detergent all over the kitchen floor, broken a lamp, and walked across the couch with muddy shoes. I can't finish cleaning up one mess before he gets into something else. I'm exhausted and frustrated. And I have to be honest--the broken lamp was the last straw for me, and I did NOT react well. After yelling at Perrin (something I swore I would never do as a parent), I locked him in his room so I could clean up the shards of porcelain. He seemed pretty oblivious to my anger--I could hear him playing with his toys, completely  unaware that his mother was entertaining visions of packing him off to live with the grandparents for the next five years.

As I swept and threw away my beautiful lamp (which happened to be a wedding present), I had to remind myself that stuff is just stuff and that the way I raise Perrin will last forever. Since he was playing happily in his bedroom, I took a few minutes to stretch out on the couch and read a few passages from Psalms. Then I went to check on Perrin (good thing, too, because he was about to smear play-dough all over his face). I gave him a hug and apologized for yelling at him. I know he wasn't trying to be bad today. He's just a normal two-year-old.

I love what Psalm 127:3-4 says about kids: "Behold, children are a gift of the Lord. The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth."

I know Perrin is a gift. He's a gift in the sense that he brings me so much joy and fills me with love. But he's a gift in a less obvious way, too--he forces me to become a less selfish, more humble, more patient and loving version of myself. And that's not always fun, to be honest. And like today, I don't always pass the test. Instead I get a glimpse into my human nature that reminds me how desperately I need God to help me live up to the incredible privilege of being a mom.

When I feel like a failure, I have to remind myself that God not only uses times like these to show me my weaknesses and my need for His grace in my life, but He can also use them for good in Perrin's life. Perrin will learn a lot more from a mother who messes up but admits to those faults and seeks forgiveness than from a mother who acts perfectly all the time.

Even so, it's tough. Raising kids is tough. Sanctification is tough. Typing out this blog and admitting to myself how far short I fall is tough. But it's worth it.