The convenience of kids

Before I got pregnant, I thought a lot about how inconvenient children must be. You love them, sure, but they certainly make life a bit more complex. But recently, I've started realizing all the things kids are incredibly convenient for. One particular example comes to mind:

When Trey and I went on a cruise a few weeks ago, I couldn't resist the temptation to try out all the water slides on the boat, pregnant belly and all. But standing in line behind 4 or 5 six-year-olds made me feel just a wee bit silly. Then I noticed right behind me was a man who looked to be in his late 30s. Sweet! I wasn't the only adult! My triumph was cut short when I realized he was consoling his daughter and assuring her the slide would be fun. "See, I'm right here," he said. "I'll go down with you, and it won't be scary at all!"

So, I have to admit, of the many things I'm looking forward to about starting a family, I'm really looking forward to using our children as an excuse to continue doing all of those things that I apparently have not quite outgrown. Our kids are sure to embarrass me on occasion, right? So I think it's only fair that they save me from some embarrassment too.

What were they eating?!?

So, yesterday I joked about having a 20 pound baby. Today I read an article on AOL news about an Indonesian woman who birthed a 19.2 pound jumbo baby. Sadly, that's not even the record for biggest baby--that goes to some poor woman's 22.44 pounder.

I really was only kidding--I had no idea a 20 pound baby was even plausible. I mean, a car tire weighs 20 pounds. A lot of medium-sized dogs (including my corgi) weigh 20 pounds. And this hamburger also weighs 20 pounds:

Maybe those women had a few of these during their pregnancies. That's the only explanation I can come up with, anyway.

Dear Lord, please don't let me have a 20 pound baby. Amen.

I finally got around to posing for a picture to show off my pregnant belly. I've been hesitant to do it before now because I felt like I didn't really look pregnant--just fat. Now that I think it's pretty clear that it's a baby and not twinkies causing the bulge, I have a new concern: If I'm looking like this at only 18 weeks, how on earth am I going to fit through a door by the time I'm nearing the finish line?

I keep hearing stories of all these women who didn't show at all until their 7th month. That's not going to be my story, obviously. For goodness' sake, I've already been asked if I'm having twins!! (I'm not, in case anyone else was wondering the same thing!)

So, here I am at 18 weeks...rather poochy. I'm only half joking about the 20 pound baby thing.